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19/05/2008, 10:17 AM sam Joined on 05/09/2007 Posts 607 Re: It's Joke Time So i went to the dentist and he said say Ahh, i said why, he said my dogs just died. LEEDS ARE GOING UP BECKFORD IS A LEGEND    Report

21/05/2008, 8:01 PM WeAreYellows49 Joined on 11/12/2007 Dereham Posts 4,414 Re: It's Joke Time During World War II, Hitler told his Nazis to rape as may French women as they could then say, "In nine months you will have a baby. Name it Adolf. Heil Hitler!" So a young Nazi soldier, eager to do his duty, dutifully went out and raped a pretty young French girl. He said, "In nine months you will have a baby. Name it Adolf. Heil Hitler!" She replied, "In a few weeks you will have a disease. Name it syphillis. Vive la France!" Formerly - MightyYellows God how I wish I were a tomato in the sun and warmth, instead of being a mushroom, kept in the dark and fed.... ....    Report

22/05/2008, 8:46 PM Delia's Well Behaved Devonshire Dirtbox Joined on 26/10/2004 Tiverton Posts 1,888 Re: It's Joke Time What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?                                           Gang rape    Report

23/05/2008, 9:45 PM WeAreYellows49 Joined on 11/12/2007 Dereham Posts 4,414 Re: It's Joke Time The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret and he tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional. She says, "Father, I never wears knickers under my habit." The priest chuckles and says, "That's not so serious. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers and do five cartwheels on your way to the altar Formerly - MightyYellows God how I wish I were a tomato in the sun and warmth, instead of being a mushroom, kept in the dark and fed.... ....    Report

25/05/2008, 6:13 PM WeAreYellows49 Joined on 11/12/2007 Dereham Posts 4,414 Re: It's Joke Time Little Johnny was in class again.Teacher asked everyone "Can anyone tell me a sentence with the word definitely in it?" Meg puts up her hand."The sky is definitely blue." "Thats not bad,Meg," says the teacher, "but the sky can be grey or red." Young Sally tried :"The grass is definitely green." "Good try Sally,but grass can be yellow or brown too!" Suddenly Little Johnny's hand shoots up."Miss Brown does a fart have lumps?" The teacher was horrified."No of course not Johnny! What are you talking about?" So Johnny says,"Well then Miss brown, I've definitely s**t my pants!" Formerly - MightyYellows God how I wish I were a tomato in the sun and warmth, instead of being a mushroom, kept in the dark and fed.... ....    Report

25/05/2008, 8:16 PM Delia's Well Behaved Devonshire Dirtbox Joined on 26/10/2004 Tiverton Posts 1,888 Re: It's Joke Time There is a new drink that has just come on the market, its called Terry's vodka Its made in England, but they bottle it in Russia    Report

25/05/2008, 8:18 PM Delia's Well Behaved Devonshire Dirtbox Joined on 26/10/2004 Tiverton Posts 1,888 Re: It's Joke Time BEJING OLYMPICS CANCELLED!                                     The Chinese are struggling to dig up a team    Report

25/05/2008, 8:28 PM Delia's Well Behaved Devonshire Dirtbox Joined on 26/10/2004 Tiverton Posts 1,888 Re: It's Joke Time LONELY HEARTS ADS - WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN: Adventurous = Likes anal Athletic = No tits 30 Something = 41 Fun = Annoying Wild = Gets drunk easily Beautiful eyes = Face like a slapped ass Seeks knight in shining armour = Ex-husband is a nutter New-age = Hairy with a smelly minge Headstrong = Argumentative Enjoys pubbing and clubbing = Alcoholic Cuddly = Fat Curvy = Fat ass Likes eating out = Lazy fat ass      Report

27/05/2008, 8:57 PM Shack Attack Joined on 11/08/2005 Making a fool of Terry Butcher....again Posts 1,726 Re: It's Joke Time When Julius Caesar became leader of the Romans he spoke to his confidant Marc Anthony and told him of his plans to conquer France and then England. Marc Anthony was reluctant but Caesar wouldn't listen and went to address the crowd from his balcony. "Tomorrow our army will leave for France where we will slaughter the Gauls on our way to Paris and then England". "HAIL CAESAR" replied the crowd. Just days later Marc Anthony sat in Caesar's palace when a messenger arrived. "I have great news from France, our army is ten miles from Paris and 10,000 Gauls have been slaughtered. Hail Caesar!". Marc Anthony is unsure about this news but initially trusts his leader. The next day a further messenger arrives and announces "I have great news from France, our army has conquered Paris and 50,000 Gauls have been slaughtered. Next we move on to England. Hail Caesar!!" Marc Anthony can't believe how quickly progress has been made and decides to see for himself. He travels through Southern France and although there are some dead Gauls there are nowhere near the number described. He then makes it to Paris and once more it seems that Caesar has been exaggerating greatly, indeed the Gauls are regrouping and plan to chase Caesar all the way to England. Eventually Marc Anthony catches up with Caesar and asks him to explain himself. "You sent back word to Rome that 60,000 Gauls had been slaughtered but on my travels I have seen far less. Probably only half as many. What's going on Caesar?" "Relax Marc, everyone knows that in Europe away Gauls count double." Coat. My. Get. I'll "The ball is round. The game lasts ninety minutes. This much is fact. Everything else is pure theory."    Report

27/05/2008, 9:40 PM sam Joined on 05/09/2007 Posts 607 Re: It's Joke Time I was having dinner with world chess champion Gary Kasprov and we were eating on a black and white chequred table cloth, it took him 2 hours to pass me the salt. LEEDS ARE GOING UP BECKFORD IS A LEGEND    Report

28/05/2008, 1:24 PM San Miguel Joined on 26/04/2006 Norwichio Posts 795 Re: It's Joke Time Life with a women is like a deck of cards You need a heart to love them A diamond to marry them A club to hit them over the head, and a spade to f-in bury them    Report

29/05/2008, 12:42 PM WeAreYellows49 Joined on 11/12/2007 Dereham Posts 4,414 Re: It's Joke Time  San Miguel wrote: Life with a women is like a deck of cards You need a heart to love them A diamond to marry them A club to hit them over the head, and a spade to f-in bury them   LMAO Formerly - MightyYellows God how I wish I were a tomato in the sun and warmth, instead of being a mushroom, kept in the dark and fed.... ....    Report

29/05/2008, 1:11 PM jay kay Joined on 28/07/2007 Posts 1,866 Re: It's Joke Time theres 3 parrots for sale in a shop.... 100,200 and 15 quid, the woman asks, "why is that parrot so cheap?" the shop keeper replies, " well, it used to live in a brothel." the woman buys it cos she thinks its funny, she opens the door and the parrot says" f**k me a new brothel!" the woman laughs the 2 daughters come home and the parrot says "f**k me 2 new prossies!" the girls laugh. dad comes home, and the parrot says " f**k me dave, havent seen you for weeks! love you mum. R.I.P    Report

29/05/2008, 1:13 PM jay kay Joined on 28/07/2007 Posts 1,866 Re: It's Joke Time one day, paddy sat down by the ice to fish, then behind him a bellowing voice shouted, " YOU WONT CATCH ANY FISH UNDER THE ICE PADDY" paddy bemused looked up and said " ish thart ure god??? the bellowing voice replied, " no you irish f**kwit, its the ice rink manager! love you mum. R.I.P    Report

29/05/2008, 1:15 PM jay kay Joined on 28/07/2007 Posts 1,866 Re: It's Joke Time i bought a new car stereo, voice activated, i shout country, it plays dolly parton. i shout rock it plays guns and roses. the other day, i was driving through the city and some kids ran out in front of my car, i shouted "F**KING KIDS!!!!" and it played gary glitter... love you mum. R.I.P    Report

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pink'un » Have Your Say » It's not just f... » Re: It's Joke Time

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