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03/04/2008, 8:28 PM WeAreYellows49 Joined on 11/12/2007 Dereham Posts 4,414 Re: It's Joke Time What do you call a chav in a box?? Innit.. What do you call a chav in a filling cabinet?? Sorted.. What do you call a chav in a box with a lock on it?? Safe.. Why are chav's like slinkie's?? They have no real use but it's great to see one fall down the stair's.. What do you call a chavette in a white tracksuit?? The bride.. You're in your car an you see a chav on a bike, why should you not hit him?? It might be your bike.. What's the first question in a chav quiz nite?? What you lookin' AT?? Two chav's in a car with no music. Who's driving?? The police.. What do you say to a chav with a job?? Can i have a Big mac please.. What do you say to a chav in a suit?? Will the defendant please stand.. What do you call a knife in chav-ville?? Exhibit A.. How many chav's does it take to change a light bulb?? One, they'll screw anything.. Why did the chav take a shower?? He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the nova's windows in the car wash.. Formerly - MightyYellows God how I wish I were a tomato in the sun and warmth, instead of being a mushroom, kept in the dark and fed.... ....    Report

04/04/2008, 1:56 PM 1st Wazzock Joined on 29/01/2004 Not in Lowestoft - it's a dump Posts 1,286 Re: It's Joke Time THE EXPLANATION   The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom, making love to a very attractive young woman and was somewhat upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children!  I'm leaving you! I want a divorce right away!" The husband replied, "Hang on just a minute, Love, so at least I can tell you what happened." "Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!" And the husband began -- "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift.  She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.  I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for THREE days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.   The poor thing devoured them in moments. "Since she needed a good clean up, I suggested a shower.  While she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away.  Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight.  I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste.  I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same"    The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, "Please....do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'"    Report

05/04/2008, 8:58 PM WeAreYellows49 Joined on 11/12/2007 Dereham Posts 4,414 Re: It's Joke Time There were two cows in a paddock, enjoying the sun and eating some grass. The first cow said "Moo." And the second cow said "That's funny, I was just about to say that." Formerly - MightyYellows God how I wish I were a tomato in the sun and warmth, instead of being a mushroom, kept in the dark and fed.... ....    Report

05/04/2008, 9:36 PM WeAreYellows49 Joined on 11/12/2007 Dereham Posts 4,414 Re: It's Joke Time A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust-line forty four". Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her boobs grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what has happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says: "Mirror mirror on the door, make my "manhood" touch the floor!". Again, there's a bright flash and both his legs fall off. Formerly - MightyYellows God how I wish I were a tomato in the sun and warmth, instead of being a mushroom, kept in the dark and fed.... ....    Report

06/04/2008, 1:17 PM Delia's Well Behaved Devonshire Dirtbox Joined on 26/10/2004 Tiverton Posts 1,888 Re: It's Joke Time The owners of the house that was destroyed by a plane in Kent, have issued a statement saying, next time they go on holiday the will turn the landing ligth off.    Report

06/04/2008, 8:33 PM WeAreYellows49 Joined on 11/12/2007 Dereham Posts 4,414 Re: It's Joke Time Thought I had broke my record last weekend for continual sex. 1 hour and 3 minutes. Then I remembered the clocks had went forward Formerly - MightyYellows God how I wish I were a tomato in the sun and warmth, instead of being a mushroom, kept in the dark and fed.... ....    Report

08/04/2008, 7:53 PM WeAreYellows49 Joined on 11/12/2007 Dereham Posts 4,414 Re: It's Joke Time Curry Songs Tears on my Pilau Korma Chameleon Dansak Queen ABBA were always big curry fans, as witnessed not only by the aforementioned Dansak Queen, but also the sublime 'ChickenTikka', the shocking 'Ring Ring', 'Vindaloo', and of course, 'Gimme Gimme Gimme (a Naan after midnight)' Also, for your consideration: Black Lace: 'Sag Aloo' AC/DC: 'Bhaji Boy Boogie' Van Morrison: 'He Ain't givin' you naan' Circle Jerks: 'Patia's Killing Mel' Led Zeppelin: 'Kashmiri (chicken)' Rush: 'Lock and Kebab' Diana Ross: 'I want masala' Beach Boys: 'Chapati of Love' Taylor Dayne: 'Don't Reshmi' Aerosmith: 'Don't get Madras, Get even' and anything by the New York Daals. 'It's my Chapati and I'll cry if I want to.' Led Zepplin's classic, 'Bhuna Long Time Formerly - MightyYellows God how I wish I were a tomato in the sun and warmth, instead of being a mushroom, kept in the dark and fed.... ....    Report

09/04/2008, 8:27 AM 1st Wazzock Joined on 29/01/2004 Not in Lowestoft - it's a dump Posts 1,286 Re: It's Joke Time A friend of mine ate nothing but curry powder for a week. Yesterday, sadly, he slipped into a Korma.    Report

09/04/2008, 1:03 PM 1st Wazzock Joined on 29/01/2004 Not in Lowestoft - it's a dump Posts 1,286 Re: It's Joke Time If you believe in telekenesis raise my right hand.    Report

09/04/2008, 1:19 PM 1st Wazzock Joined on 29/01/2004 Not in Lowestoft - it's a dump Posts 1,286 Re: It's Joke Time If you believe in telekenisis raise my right hand.    Report

09/04/2008, 5:35 PM sam Joined on 05/09/2007 Posts 607 Re: It's Joke Time I went to the doctor and explained to him that i couldn't sleep, he said "take two of these" i said "what are they?" He said "pillows" LEEDS ARE GOING UP BECKFORD IS A LEGEND    Report

09/04/2008, 8:15 PM WeAreYellows49 Joined on 11/12/2007 Dereham Posts 4,414 Re: It's Joke Time A man bumps into an old school friend at a party. "Golly," says the friend, "I haven't seen you in years. Where have you been hiding yourself?" "I've been away with the wife," answers the man. "Lovely," says the friend. "Where did you go?" Anywhere nice?" "Greece," comes the reply. "Gorgeous. Where abouts in Greece?" "Oh, erm, P-P-Pr-Pris, no, that's not it," the man says, struggling to remember a word. "Er, T-Tr-Tra... S**t! N-Ni-Nic..." Still the word won't come. "Oh b**ls. What do you call that plant that grows up the side of your house? You know, that creeper thing?" "Ivy?" suggests the friend. "Yes!That's it!" says the man, relieved. "Hey, Ivy! What's the name of the place we went to in Greece?" Formerly - MightyYellows God how I wish I were a tomato in the sun and warmth, instead of being a mushroom, kept in the dark and fed.... ....    Report

10/04/2008, 3:12 PM Houston Canary Joined on 13/01/2008 yee haw, Houston TX Posts 1,187 Re: It's Joke Time What has 9 arms and rocks?  Def Leppard. 2 men say they're Jesus, one of them MUST be wrong    Report

11/04/2008, 4:39 PM sam Joined on 05/09/2007 Posts 607 Re: It's Joke Time 1) A friend of mine got knocked down by a mobile library, he was rolling around on the floor in agony, screaming in pain. The driver got out and said "SSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH" 2) Do you know who i blame for all of the drugs in schools, the supply teachers.   LEEDS ARE GOING UP BECKFORD IS A LEGEND    Report

13/04/2008, 9:59 PM 1st Wazzock Joined on 29/01/2004 Not in Lowestoft - it's a dump Posts 1,286 Re: It's Joke Time Whats Yellow and smells of Bananas ?   Monkeys sick    Report

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pink'un » Have Your Say » It's not just f... » Re: It's Joke Time

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