It pains me to say it but I didn’t go to yesterday’s debacle. I could have done and I didn’t. Neither did I watch it on Sky or listen to it on the radio. For the second time this season, I simply didn’t bother.

Yes, I wasn’t feeling too well with a dodgy cold and yes, I had a friend’s party to go to. Yet in days gone by I would have watched Norwich on my death bed and the social events would have come second or just seen me arrive later. If I was working I would swap shifts or knock off early. That doesn’t happen now. Its like with footballers - they’ll play in a winning team if injured, but if the team is losing its very easy to drop out.

I think we know a little bit where we stand now. Promotion for me was never a realistic opportunity - I always believed we needed a couple more players just to make the play-offs. It looks evident now that we need far more than that. Where we stand now is making sure we don’t go down and building from there. The really sad thing is that I was saying the same thing nearly 12 months ago.

Yet what is the answer. Grant out? Grant in? Would either make a difference? Grant is displaying all the hallmarks of a madman who talks a good game but can never actually produce one but the problems lie far deeper than that. If he did go, and if we lose badly on Tuesday then I think he might, then there’s no guarantee we would get a good replacement or that he would get any more backing from the board. Plus he would have the same players. Unless Grant turns it around quickly, it’s a no-win situation for the club whether he stays or goes and that is potentially catastrophic.

The board have flunked and floundered ever since we got promoted, and one mistake has been complemented by another. Their intentions appear to be well meaning, but by trying to put things right they have merely set us back each time. Not just sticking with Worthington, but the terrible transfer dealings which brought us the highest agents fees and ridiculous buy-out clauses, the horrible hotel, the bulls**t of the ‘big push’ and new signings last year that never happened. The fact we are going into October with no first team coach either is incredulous for a supposedly ambitious club like ours.

When I found out that a prominent, pompous board member told a friend of mine that he’s a supporter “who obviously does not care” when this fan travels to EVERY game home and away, then its clear things are not well. There is so much about the board - and that includes Delia - that I don’t buy. The patronising platitudes are not washing anymore. Supporters want some accountability for the mistakes and are not getting it. It does not matter what the board did in the past - they are not up to it now and that is why the club, barring a miracle from Grant, will continue to decline. League One is a serious possibility this season if not next. Nobody is too big to go down. Ask Forest and Leeds.

I’ve questioned my loyalty but then I think back to previous years. Supporting Norwich since 1980, watching hundreds of games and going to over 50 grounds. Missing the last bus back once from Birmingham, running for the last train, getting soaked, getting colds for my sins, going to Burnley in the rain for a night game on my birthday in the Hamilton years. I’ve seen it, done it, bought the t-shirt. I know what its like for us to be crap. Its not a new experience.

I’m not going to be boycotting - I’ll be at Scunthorpe on Tues and the odd game before Christmas, but pulling out all the stops week in week out just don’t seem worth the hassle now when there are better things to do. I’ve only walked away once before and that was in the final year of Chase. This is not a Chase-esque situation right now and hopefully won‘t turn into one, but for whatever reason, the club has that same sinking feeling it did back in 95-96.

That fact I have sat down to write this on a Sunday suggests I still care. The problem is, I just don’t care as much anymore.